Hey there!
OMG I just miss January! Nothing much happened actually. It is just me fighting the boredom during this global pandemic.
In fact, I am in the final examination month and...I am feeling so blessed and quite feeling grateful to have this one person to talk to. I just realise that, for all these times, the fact that I do always believed that I am suffering from depression, is seriously disturbing. I just need someone to talk to. That's all. Someone that I could listen to his story and vice versa. That's the only cure to cope with this 'I don't have friends nearby to reach out' stigma. Thanks anyway for being a friend of mine during this tough times.
Actually I was thinking about a bedroom makeover but since I am in this examination period, so I guess it will be best to postpone it first. Thinking about re-painting this bedroom and stick to a theme but I am seriously having this dilemma of wanting this section to be an island, and another section to be sort of a Hollywood star kinda walk in closet. (In your dream, loser!) LOL.
There are so many things to re-construct with such a limited resources. Hopefully I could monetised my YouTube account soon.
Talking about this pink bedroom, I am sort of missing my daughter. How is she over there anyway? I hope she's doing just good enough for a soon to be 4 years old girl, this year. How time flies and it has been a year that we couldn't hug each other.
I am now going to be a 33 years old and I am still here learning and answering examination papers, living with a weekly student allowance, waiting for the final results soon...and I am still puzzled to finally decide where should I undergo for my pupillage. I was aiming for Kuala Terengganu by the way but juggling all the expenses to rent a room, paying for daily meals, Netflix subscription (even though I am not fully utilised it since watching through the small screen of my iPhone is super boring, so...maybe I should upgrade it to a computer version, later...as for the time being, I just watched the iflix and sometimes viu, and sometimes even the RTM, and most of the time, what is available on YouTube or the Xtra) and the super unnecessary expenses.
Believe it or not, it has been a year that I am spending most of my time sitting at home and practicing the Online Distance Learning. Ya, well, some of us need to Work From Home as well. As a former full time housewife, I think I am used to sit at home and keep myself sane by turning on the TV, playing with my daughter, and went to the playground, and most of all, minding our own businesses. I am sort of miss her so much. Nowadays, I am unable to watch her every morning, afternoon, night, and nobody to wipe away my tears whenever I feel helpless and tortured emotionally.
OMG since I have updated my computer's operating system, it turns out that, I am losing lots of photos and videos that were being stored in the iCloud before. It is quite stressful actually. I am still figure out why I did deleting most of my IGTVs and there is one video that I am unable to retrieve the file. It has been permanently disappear and I am quite pissed off with myself. HAHA.
Oh, I have a good news to share. I am definitely NOT pregnant (that is for sure). I am actually kinda living in a studio apartment (like what my sister did tell me) and...the fact that I have a mimic 'walk in closet', a mini pantry with all the electrical appliances, a study area, a huge annoying bed (that took almost half of the space of my bedroom), a mini library (the bookshelf of course), and the most important area is, a balcony with fake grass! I am now having such a complete area for myself (but lack of companion for this one special little girl to share this space with). What a mess. Mommy just look at all your stuffs with tears, here. I'm sorry for the unnecessary adult drama that affected your life entirely and I hope that you will understand our entire situation, later in life. Mommy plays the 'bad guy' now cause all of my effort seems to be insulted to everyone around. I don't have the ability to please everyone around and I don't want to waste my time, energy and money to react to such lame drama and the fact that, there will always be a trap to make me look so bad to lose you, Layla.
Sooner, you might have to google for my name here and please do believe that I am loving you so much it hurts, that I really do want to be like Lola's mom in LOL movie (to hug you every single night and to be the coolest mom in the world). Or...should I just get a new baby instead, to cure this sadness of feeling empty without you? Hmm...nanti mommy call, mommy tanyakan (Layla okay ke kalau ada step sister or step brother?) HEHE. Oh wait, need to make some google search regarding the relations of this particular subjects...the mom get married and have a new child and what is the relationship between the first marriage child and the second marriage child and etc. (Geez, it is way too complicated).
Okay, let's just move on and turn into a new page and started a new chapter cause I am finding a solution to...
and...
and...
and...
and..finally...
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In starting a new page of my life, I am in the hope that, some people will ignore my presence and stop feeling threatened by my existence. That's all. (And please, stop print screen whatever I wrote here, like, seriously...) ðŸ˜
Yours truly, xoxo
Sharifa!
Audio version: Audio Version: Minding My Own Business, Oh, Hello 2021!