Modern Mom

Define modern mom.

What does it like to be a modern mom nowadays. 

Honestly, I am so depress to be underestimated in taking care of my own child.

It's like I am so dumb in taking care of my own child, just because I am a mother with an iPhone, wearing my favorite pair of Nike while holding my baby, put on my nursing cover to nurse my little one, reading books on pregnancy and babies, and of course, watching my favorite tv series Law & Order : Special Victims Unit on Diva!

There is no special requirements in being a mom actually. Just because I am a mom, I need to stop singing my favorite songs, eating my favorite foods, dressing like an 'actual mom', or perhaps, isolating myself from my very best friends and just sitting at home, taking care of my own child. 

Is that it?

So damn stereotype.

Let's see, what I have learn in being a modern mom with an iPhone (I mean, smart phone of course.)

Baby Bath Time

It was around 30 days plus after my delivery, I finally learnt to bath my own newborn baby in her bath tub. My sister told me to start it earlier before my newborn baby start to grow up. As I watched the You Tube on how to bath a newborn baby, attending the antenatal class with my husband and of course, watching my mother bathing my newborn baby from day one until I had finally started to bath her myself.

The rule is simple. Bathing a newborn and babies up to six month (or later), all I need to prepare is a warm bathing session and a secure feeling baby.

Just like me, I am so afraid of taking my own shower especially in cold days (seriously, I am 30 and I am still hate taking shower. Haha). So, just like newborn, she is just being exposed for few days to the world and taking bath is a really big deal for newborn baby.

Small amount of warm water, a cozy bath towel and just a few drops of baby hair and body wash are just enough since babies are clean. I love to remind myself that, I am taking my baby to shower just to make her feel fresh due to the fact that, she wears diaper in one whole day and it must be a relief to be able to wash her private part and torso after a long hours in a diaper.

Warm bath also helps babies to easily fall asleep.

Why do I bath her with warm water?

Simple. My baby have live in my womb, specifically sitting, kicking, sleeping in that cozy and warmest place in the world, surrounding with the warm liquids, and all of sudden, need to adapt with her outside world with the major different surroundings - water! Thats why when my water breaks, I felt so warm down there.

So yeah, newborn baby really loves warmth bath.

As I have learn through the You Tube channel, I start our bath session by washing her face to indicate that we are going to enter the showering zone. Later, start with her feet and finally her torso and her chest. That way, baby will stay calm and getting ready to be wet on all part of her body.

Trust me, I did making my little one cried during our first bathing session together. I accidentally stuck her leg on that net, she cried so loud...and starting from that moment, I stop using the baby bath net. 

Today, I am so proud and encouraging her to have a nice shower time by placing her both palms into the water. She seems love her bath time session - just like her father, I guess.

Diapering and Clothing Session

This is the best part of all. After taking her bath, all that I need to do is patting her dry and cover her head to avoid her from being too cold. When she is getting a little bit cry, I pat her belly button dry and she start to feel comfortable.

During her 0+ month, she tends to pee on her bath towel before we put on her diaper. Three bath towels in a week I need to change as she keeps peeing after bath. I was quite depress since she also peed on her newly replace bath towel.

Then, during her 1 month, I laugh at her when she suddenly peed on her bath towel. As she starts to smile, I realized that she is just a baby and thats what babies do. They do not have that ability to talk that they want to pee and they are not able to go to the toilet by themselves. So, I smile back to her and said, "It's okay, you are a baby. This is baby's job." LOL. Indeed, I was talking to baby and I am still talking to baby until today.

Since that day, she never pee on her bath towel and started to pee on her diaper. Thank you, my little angel.

Every single day, I talk to her as well as myself, "What are we going to wear today?"

I pick a pink onesies, and put it back cause the mittens and booties available are not matching with it. Dress her up according the weather outside to avoid her from being overheating or overdress. Dress her up according to weekdays and weekends, activities and also her favorite comfortable onesies. 

During weekdays, I love her to wear a short sleeves onesies and during weekend, I dress her up with something more sweet and cute as my sister love to cuddle with her. I will dress her up with her most adorable onesies when my husband is around so that, he feel excited to play with his own child. Well, it is actually my family traditions - first impression last. Dress up and have fun. It is just that, I am not so 'girly' in dressing up my daughter so, I really enjoys dressing her up with all my favorite onesies during the weekdays to avoid something like, "So boyish" kinda thing. Haha!

Feeding Session

As I am exclusively breastfeed my little one, feeding session is a time that I closely look at her face, her eyes, her layered neck, her hair, and of course, her cute little fingers. I love the way she runs her fingers through my shirt trying to grasp while enjoying her milk. I feed her once in each two hours. Now, she seems a lot hungrier maybe due to the growth spurt and I need to full her twice in two hours time depending on her needs.

Sleeping Pattern

Thanks to babycenter apps on iPhone for guiding a new mom like me in creating a good sleeping pattern for my baby since Day 1.

It is important to know that newborn up to 3 or 4 months do sleep a lot. Baby needs her beauty sleep around 16 to 17 hours a day.

During day time, let her nap after feeding session and don't worry to let the sun shines through the windows, let the daily noises aloud such as the food processor, the vacuum cleaner, the tv, radios and people talking as she needs to adapt and learn the daytime activities, and it is still okay to have a short nap and awakes during feeding time.

During night time, put her to bed by switch off the lights and keep the dim light on, lower down all the noises and it is okay for parents to tip toed while passing her bed, to indicate that night time is for sleeping, so less activity is needed. 

I start this sleeping pattern from Day 1 and alhamdulillah, she now master the day and night routine. I even turn on a lullaby just to make her feel sleepy!

The babycenter apps also teach me to not let her sleep while holding her in my arms. Yes, sometimes I hold her and sing her lullaby to put her to bed when she seems overstimulated during daytime. The best way is, putting her on her bed while she is drowsy and not fully shut her eyes sleeping! That way she will learn to fall asleep by herself.

I am practicing the 'sleep on her back' sleeping habit to avoid the SIDS and encourage her to sleep in her own crib. Alhamdulillah, she manage to sleep in her bed beside me.

(Oh ya, kenapa aku tak tidur satu katil dengan baby? Simple je, kalau diaper dia bocor, aku tak perlu basuh cadar aku yang sebesar alam tu oleh sebab kencing or berak dia. Plus, kan najis tu...walaupun najis baby consider as najis ringan, if fully breastfeed. Dalam pantang boleh lah sebab aku dalam hadas, tapi lepas habis nifas, penat jugak nak cuci kesan kencing atas cadar kan. So, let her sleep in her own crib sebab cadar baby kecil and senang nak keringkan. Aku tidur mesti toleh kanan and kiri so, by the time aku tukar posisi, mestilah budak tu terjaga. Haha! Jadi, kau tidurlah dalam katil yang atok dah belikan tu ya, nak. Kalau ummi muat dalam katil kau, ummi pun nak masuk dalam baby crib yg comel tu. Huhu. Apatah lagi, sekarang dah ada hammocks!)

Babycenter apps also teach me to "Shusshhh" her during her night time if she seems crying a little bit, before patting her and picking her up from her crib. It works! She did fall asleep when I "shusssh" her slowly. Yeah, baby get easily awake, I mean she is easily get shock by sudden loud noises. 

What is overtired and overstimulated baby?

It means, baby need to sleep 17 hours a day and overtired means, extra noises while her sleeping, as well as extra movement during her daytime.

Baby Laundry

As a mom, I guess my baby skin and I are not that different. If I am not comfortable with Johnsons baby wash, I believe my baby will get affected as well. So, I try using the Carrie Junior hair and body baby wash. Alhamdulillah she seems comfortable with it. 

So do her laundry. I wash her clothes with Kao Attack detergent and she seems happy in her clothes and blankets. 

I wash her clothes once a week separately with my clothes - of course.

...

Okay, today is going well. I have to admit that, she changed her habit according to her age. She used to enjoy the soother when she was 1 month old but now she rejects it completely. A lot of things change gradually and I keep learning day by day according to her needs. As long as I have the internet connection and what they call 'Google', I believe that my motherhood journey will become a lot enjoyable and taking care of my own child will be the most pleasurable experience I will never forget. 

Keep it simple. Baby = routine. 

I give her a sleeping routine so that I get enough rest during night time and so my daughter.

A flexible bath time session so she will adapt to the weather accordingly without taking a bath time session as 'a must' routine in her daily life. 

I teach her to switch off the ceiling fan after taking shower to avoid catching cold and captured a serious lung problems (this is part of my family tradition as well).

I dress her up nicely and keep her fresh so that people around love to cuddle with her without having to deal with 'that stinky baby diaper'.

I told her to wait for me calmly just so I have a time to take my own shower. Now, as she grow up, I put her in her crib or on my bed, placing her plushy close to her and continue with my daily activities - eating, do the laundry, hanging and folding our clothes, comb my hair while she stared at me curiously, and updating my blog once in a while. I even whispered, "Malaikat, tolong jagakan Zulaykha ye, ummi nak mandi kejap."

Having the opportunity of taking care of my own child is wonderful. It is exhausted but in a wonderful way. Sometimes I feel so tired that I cried, sometimes I feel overjoyed that my tears rolled down. 

For modern mom like me, I'm going to say that, please grab this opportunity in raising our own child. My sister always inspiring me and keep encouraging me to take care of my own baby, even though she is a working mom. As I am still living with my parents, trust me, my mom let me to handle my own child and I feel so thankful, grateful and so proud for believing in my ability to take care of my own child.

Now, I am so proud to tell my daughter that, I bring her shopping since she was two months old, grabbing that sandals, strolling in the bookstore and enjoying our first experience in the baby room - just the two of us! It was pretty exhausting for both of us but, I believe that, I have learn a lot to be such a great mom in my own ways.

I'm going to bed now. See ya!

p/s : You're the mom, so, it is all up to you in raising your own child the way you feel it is the best for her. Don't let people let you down by telling you this and that. Each babies are special in their own ways. Each babies are not the same. So, as a mom, trust your instinct! (: 

Sincerely with love,

a new mom to my two months old daughter ❤

Childbirth

It had been almost two months since the day I gave birth to our beloved daughter, Zulaykha.

I still remember the day she was born, it was raining outside and few hours before she was born, I heard doctor and nurses were welcoming a baby. It was around 5 a.m.. I was so thirsty that the doctor did not allow me to drink some water, of course, for some medical reason. I was wondering and got extremely exhausted that I optioned to sleep and decided to give up.

Vaginal examination (VE)? Contraction? Prostin Gel Induction? Induce On Labor (IOL)? Cardiotocography (CTG)? Geez...those lists never ended. For the first time I had been exposed with those terms and practically learned about them.

This is what I call a once in a lifetime experience. They did not teach us on childbirth during high school or in college, they did not tell us the pain suffered during childbirth. All that we were being taught were achieving our academic goals and finding a better job for our promising future.

Childbirth.

I never thought of being part of it.

I never thought that I would hold a small little creature in my arms.

I never thought about watching a child suckling for milk in order to survive.

I never thought that one day, I would hold a baby and talk to her.

Being pregnant was like magic. 

Giving birth was miracle. It was beautiful. 

It was painful and yet, it was the most wonderful things that ever happened to me.

Every morning, I woke up and saw that innocence face.

That round innocence eyes, looking at me without judging who I was.

Praise to Allah, she was so precious that I could burst into tears while listening to her mumbling each morning.

This is the price for being a mom - priceless! ❤

Alhamdulillah.

We were blessed with a cute little baby girl. I still remember the day when I read those experiences shared by mothers across the world, they always remind me that they were giving birth to the next caliph in this world. I feel guilty. Guilty for not naming our precious little angel with a good Muslim name. It was not about popularity, it was all about helping her to survive in this world. 

I am still imagine her life without me. 

May Allah protect you, my little angel.

...

It was awkward when the nurses asked me to hold her for the first time. I did refused to hold her because I was afraid of blood. It was quite funny when I saw the doctor held her just few inches from my body. They took her on my chest and she started to calm down. She cried a little bit. Her body felt so warm. I was still thinking - was it for real?

I fell asleep. I was so tired. Stitches, blood, not to mention that I had suddenly peed on the floor as soon as I had arrived at my bed. I was so helpless and weak. 

The blood wouldn't stop, I felt restless. Just when I had decided to change her diaper, I saw blood stain on my bed. The nurse told me to change her diaper first. Extremely challenging!

I cried for days thinking that my life was over. 

My heart was broken when I saw my tummy hanging like a melted pudding. 

My breasts both were in pain and it was so hard for me to sit comfortably. 

I even asked him to find another woman to marry him.

We fought so hard that we forgot who we were. 

It's called, Postpartum Depression.

Couple nights I was snoring without my baby besides me. She was warded for two days suffering from jaundice. I did cried missing her innocence eyes, tiny little nose, latching perfectly after the forth times I taught her to latch, she was a wonderful gift I ever received.

...and now, she's talking to me. Smiling and grunting like I can understand her baby voices.

It's going to be the hardest goodbye, for both of us.

Lots of love,

ummi.